God in all things

I watched Red Cliff 2.

The last part of the movie sees a violent ending of the war. Many people were killed. Losses were massive. I.e. Great War Show!

As i watched it, I asked. What price victory?

In the movie, the price was high, but the prize was higher. Freedom. The right to be free. This was the amazing price. The red cliff was theirs. Free from tyranny.

Life is about fighting wars. Freedom in the sense not to do what we want, but freedom to choose to do what is right. God wants us to fight for truth.

Then last night, i asked, is there a purpose in ministry? What is ministry? God spoke simply.

Life and ministry are one yet distinct.

To give context, i was asking God, what should my ministry be. The specific area i should serve in, above and beyond the usual christian life thing. But really, where in the church should i serve. But first i wanted to know what ministry was.

And this is my journey now. Finding out what is ministry in God's eyes. What does serving God mean. I don't know. I need to.

Another thing, i feel like i am crumbling. I don't know why, but i feel it in my spirit. To fall apart anytime soon.