Life

I come to see God leads me through many stages of development.

He first asked me who He was. That led me through a while of reading His word.

He next asked me who He was to me. That was a struggle for me as God stripped me of everything i had. And then He asked me was He still good.

Next God asked me who I was. That was a journey of discovery. That was a journey that culminated in me realising who i was and what i wanted.

God then asked me, what sort of girl i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

But now, after all that, God is asking me, What do i want to do with my life? What is my purpose on earth? What is my worship to God?

I do not know what it is, but this new journey of discovery i know is hard yet will prove to be fulfilling. Because at the end of the day, everyone needs to answer 2 question: Who am i? What am i doing here?

The answer to both depends on the ultimate question: Is there a God.

For me, there is a God. For me, i am answering the last question. Before i continue on my journey of life.

Pride

I want to break for God.

I went away for awhile because today i hurt a friend. So i decided to go talk to God at my favourite haunt.

God spoke on one topic. Pride.

It is the thing that corrupts me within, the issue that burns. The hunger from validation stemming from a proud character. One that craves to be noticed. And God wants to deal with it.

And i need to humble myself. My friendship is not a test i have to pass. I do not have to be a person who is right, who can teach, who knows. My friends do not test me to see if i am acceptable, good, A+. There is no grading in life.

Friendship is about being real to one another. At the end of the day, relationships is about realness and truth. It is about blessing others. About letting others fail and picking them up.

For my own ministry, God has reminded me. Hear their hearts. Hear their cries. Hear my people.

I cannot explain

For some inexplicable reason, i am in a foul mood.

I think a part of me feels a bit sad that the day is over. The day is here. I have taught for six months. And i will be leaving CJ in awhile which saddens me. The friends i have made, the relief teachers are leaving and for that i will miss them. Each one of them in their own special way has made going to work a delight. Every one of them has ended their stint as relief teachers. For everyone of them, i thank God that He placed them in my life, because they each blessed me in too many ways.

I will miss my table kaki (but i shall tell more when i leave properly)

I will miss teaching my classes.
In a sense, this was my last days with them. I do not know if i will continue teaching them until the day i leave; i hope i will. I will miss 33's cheek, 21's engagement, 2's pleasure. To be their teacher, to have an opportunity to make a change in someone's life. I do not know if i have been a teacher that God has called me to be, but i pray that i have succeeded in some ways where God wanted me to do.

I am going through a transition season. I wish i had a friend to walk with me through this.

Movie

I caught a video last night, fight club. And in it was a quote.

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.".

It initially struck me as being Christian. Afterall, Christians are asked to die to self, to give everything up. To surrender. But i felt this as a re read the quote and realise this is not a Christian as it sounds.

Jesus never asked us to lose everything before we gain his freedom. The young rich man, whom Jesus asked to sell his possessions to give to the poor, that young man was unable to do that because he was tied down to the possession. Because that young man loved ownership of things. Because that young man loved wealth. And that was the issue at hand.

Jesus never rebuked a man for being rich per se, but being fully enamored with wealth, material well being is not the right thing. Good stewardships means we own the wealth, the wealth does not own us. God wants us to own and to master the blessing, not the other way round.

If you work for money, for your next meal, then the job or the pay check owns you. If you strive for acceptance, for validation, than your friends masters you. If you pursue glory and fame in any fashion, than power controls you.

If you work to bring God glory, than God owns you. If you strive to be a Jesus to your friends, than Jesus masters you. If you pursue the humble things and God rises you up, then the Holy Spirit controls you.

Good stewardship comes about when we learn to own and master the blessings God gave us, yet not be controlled by that same blessing.

"The Lord Giveth, the Lord Taketh. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

I'd change the quote to:

"It's only after we are the master of our blessings that we're free to do anything."

God placed you on earth, with a charge. To rule and master the world. (cf Gen 1)

Truth, Life.

Truth is not the conclusion.

I came across a thought when i was reflecting on issues. And this was the point. Arguments worth pursuing are those when both parties are on a quest for truth, and when both parties are willing to suspend common sense for the study of truth.

Truth is the essence of life. It is the pursuit of that which matters. And yet it is not an end in itself.

Truth is that which we need to put into practice. We need to set it as our cornerstone of life.

But the obvious question will be, how will we know what truth is? From a honest opinion, we cannot. We cannot be 'know' in the scientific sense of the word 'truth'. But we need not give up our search and quest for truth. We need to fight and find it. We need to have a strange dichotomy with respect to truth: To hold on to it with all our effort, yet to be willing to lose it in an instance.

One must believe in the truth one holds dear, willing to give all for it and yet view it carelessly. One must realise that the truth we hold dear maybe a half truth, or a lie, and it requires us to give it up.

But we must never mistake truth for anything else. And therefore, we must never argue from anything else other than fact. We may test and see if the truth others present is robust, but this is different from arguing using common sense.

Ultimately, we must learn to know. But of equal importance, we must know what we do not know. To argue based on common sense, is a clear sign that you do not know you do not know.

WHy study economics?

TOP 10 REASONS TO STUDY ECONOMICS

1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
2. Economists can supply it on demand.
3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.
4. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face.
5. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.
6. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
7. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
8. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
9. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
10. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy

Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.

Bad, Worse, Terrible.

Bad - You fall
Worse - In public
Terrible - During a teacher's race
Impossible - In front of your students.

Sigh...

Is the Pepper Potts (in Iron Man) a blonde?

Debating with a friend over this deep issue. Is she a blonde? I shall find out...