Property Rights

I am frustrated.

My brother wants to borrow my car. No problem, except that it will be till late, and i do not have the peace to let him have it. Plus there will be five people in the car, and i get the feeling it is very easy to speed, by being goaded on.

I know this sounds selfish, but it is my car. Not the family car, not a family car, not for sharing. But my car. I do not like to let other people use my car simply because i don't know if you are taking care of it MY way. I am fussy about my car. The first 1 plus km must be driven with the revolutions below 2k, the last 1 plus km as well. When you turn off the engine, the aircon, fan, radio, lights everything that runs on electricity must be turned off before the engine. The wheels must be straighten out too. No one who smokes must enter my car. No more than five people can be in the car, unless you know how to cross bumps and all that. No speeding above 3.5k revolutions.

I am fussy about my car. I maintain it well, i wash it, take care of it. My brother doesn't bother to help, only use. That is not my beef; even if he offers i will be happy (and turn it down politely because i like to wash my car alone) but at the same time i just want my car my way. I am fussy about it, anal even.

Yet i know this is being selfish, not lending my brother my car. But is it being selfish? Not sharing? I do not share my underwear, my girlfriend, my wife, is that being selfish?

I think that property rights must be respected. At the end of the day, if the item belongs to me, i have absolute right over it. I have the right to share of course, but if i feel you will not take care of the item, i also have the right to reject that. I think selfishness arises when someone cannot show himself or herself responsible to take good stewardship of the item that he or she requests to borrow. I think it reflects badly on the other person. Of course there must be grace, it may be that the lender is really selfish and have no real reason not to lend. But at the same time, we outside must remember the cost to lend is borne by the lender, not anyone else. It is all very well and easy to stand at the sidelines and say selfish. But if you consider the whole issue, you'd probably have to bite your tongue and scold yourself.

Have you ever lended someone something and regretted? Some people refuse to lend money; i am actually ok for that. I can lend books, clothes. But not my car. it is just that part of me that is too close to my heart. UNLESS you can show that you will take care of my car for me perfectly, it is not likely that i will lend you.

On the one hand, it is selfishness. But view from another point, it is merely respect for property rights.

Pursuit

Last night I asked God what it meant to pursue a girl. And the words of John Eldredge came to mind, in Wild at Heart. To fight for a girl.

I always thought that that meant chasing her, making her feel like she felt safe. Yes that was a true part of life. But there is something more.

There are so many fairy tale stories of how a princess is caught in some castle inside a forest, waiting for a prince charming to come and sweep her off her feet. Waiting for her rescue. Many have tried but equally many have failed. Yet one man will fight through the forest, one man will struggle with the forces in the said forest, and he will prevail.

Then it dawned on me, what fighting for a girl meant. It means to fight to be who you are.
It means to fight to be the PRINCE that God made us to be. It means to fight to be the WARRIOR that God made us to be. It means to be who you were made to be. It means to claim destiny. I cannot fight for a girl until I know who I am, until I know what my destiny is. Until I am aware of what destiny is. Until I am my own destiny. Fight to know who I am, that I may become that person.

I don't know if I am who I am supposed to be. I think I am on that path. But the question God asks me this time is not who am I. But am I ready to work things out. He gave me an analogy a few days back.

A relationship between two people is like a single gear shaft. Each gear is manufacture to fit the teeth of another gear. Every car's gear box is engineered such that every part fits each other. Yet even still, on the first few thousand runs, there is still some grinding and rubbing, some fine tuning that the connected parts must go through in order to run smoothly. Until finally the parts fit perfectly.

That is the same with life. Two parts that are able to fit must still be refined by each other to run perfectly. The question is, am i ready to work that part out?

Back

Hellos

I am back from Europe. Photos come later.

It was fun trip. Spent good time with friends. Europe is a beautiful place. I love to go there! But to stay? Maybe not... My retirement place is still New Zealand.

This is more of a blog of my return flight. I watched the Qatar Debate on the issue,

"This House believes that torture is only acceptable under legal supervision " (May 28th , 2007)

It was an interesting show, long and really insightful but two things cropped up for me.

One, under this issue, the underlying question is really does the ends justify the means? Do we or should we perform actions that are conventionally regarded as wrong? Do we have a right or a duty in fact to do a wrong in order to make a right? Should we use the ends to justify the means?

Personally, i believe we should not allow torture under any circumstances. We cannot forsee the future, why should we stand for allowing a current wrong to potentially right a future error. Even if the action would lead to a good future, if the action was wrong, we should not perform it. Hence, if we were to ask if murder is wrong, i'd say yes even if we were to murder the worse person on earth. (State sanction murder is not murder in my opinion).

The second issue that arose was the responses of the debaters. Each and everyone of them lost their cool, albeit for a moment or so, and voices were slightly raised. Yet if these people were professionals on television losing their cool over issues that they were passionate about, and i can assure you they were passionate about their stand, what more us? What more me who is no where near a professional debater or a public speaker. How much more grace do i need when i flare up at friends when i try to press my point? I think a lot more.

To my friends, when i argue and if i ever lose my temper, i apologise. Because i believe that my stand is right, and i am passionate about it. However, too many times i allow my emotions to crowd my thinking and my actions. That is unacceptable.

Anyway, less serious stuff, Europe is lovely. Photos later.