Searching for truth in the midst of lies

I am not lost. I just don't know where here is.

Location: Singapore, Singapore

Interestingly Mundane

Trying to find my way around a fallen world, I am a child of God, neither fully understanding who God is nor what He says, but knowing and trusting that He is God no matter what I feel. A pilgrim on a life journey bashing my way through, A Singaporean who is passionate about things, a desire to live a life worth living.

Monday, February 02, 2009

SINGAPORE'S top male and top female triathletes have been slapped with a competition ban for being caught alone together in a hotel room at the Asian Beach Games in Bali last October. -ST, 1 Feb 2009.

The issue i have with this is not the punishment. There was no question that the two athletes broke the rules. The outcry if any should be against the rule proper rather then the punishment.

And that is my question. What is the rationale for the rule?

Rules are set up to protect people. So if we look at the rule, does it serve to protect a person? It does actually guard the rights of the other people. That is when one girl invites a guy over to the dorm, or vice versa, they maybe other people around her or him that might feel awarkward.

Why did i write this? Because in my Moral Ed class today, we discussed rules, and whether we should explain rationales of the rules to the students. I think we should discuss and have the see the rationale, to try to understand and appreciate. But there are rules that i feel are beyond the ability of students to comprehend and appreciate. In those cases, it is clear that the optimal approach is to trust the teacher.

Teachers are in positions of trust. We should not violate that trust because the parents put their children in our guardianship. The children today more then ever need moral guides and moral adults to observe and learn from. We are that societal guides, to be present to set the tone for the upcoming generation.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Recessions and Ox

These 3 years have something in common:

1985, 1997, 2009.

They are 3 consecutive year of the ox. (Chinese Zodiac has 12 animals, and 12 years make a cycle).

And they were when Singapore had a recession (Channel News Asia, S'pore must be disciplined, not dip into reserves at first signs of trouble, 1/2/2009)

It is even more interesting when you realise what an Ox is. A castrated bull. Poor thing.

But anyway this post is not about castrations and recessions, but it is about something that i have noticed.

There are two questions christian must answer. Who is God, and who are you.

Who makes a person is not his deeds; you can say William is a driver, or a teacher, but that is not him, it is his job, or his passion.

What makes a person is not his misdeeds; you can say that William is a speedster (which I am not). Again that is not him, just his deeds.

What makes a person is more then just what others see. It is the character of the person. It is who the person was made to be. It is yes, the person may be patient and knowledgeable, but those are aspects of him. To know who you are, you need to spend time with yourself.

I think that is something God wants me to know. Who am I. On a quest to verify that the person i really am, is the one i show to people, and the one that God wants me to be, and the one God will use to glorify himself.

Recently, i been under attacked. Felt somehow, i will be a lousy teacher. That i do not know how to teach. That i am useless.

Then I am reminded. I am not here because i am a good teacher. I am not here because i am good at teaching. I am here, because God called me here. I am here because God wants me here. Because he made me to teach to glorify his name. What more can i ask? Nothing more.

Friday, January 16, 2009

God in all things

I watched Red Cliff 2.

The last part of the movie sees a violent ending of the war. Many people were killed. Losses were massive. I.e. Great War Show!

As i watched it, I asked. What price victory?

In the movie, the price was high, but the prize was higher. Freedom. The right to be free. This was the amazing price. The red cliff was theirs. Free from tyranny.

Life is about fighting wars. Freedom in the sense not to do what we want, but freedom to choose to do what is right. God wants us to fight for truth.

Then last night, i asked, is there a purpose in ministry? What is ministry? God spoke simply.

Life and ministry are one yet distinct.

To give context, i was asking God, what should my ministry be. The specific area i should serve in, above and beyond the usual christian life thing. But really, where in the church should i serve. But first i wanted to know what ministry was.

And this is my journey now. Finding out what is ministry in God's eyes. What does serving God mean. I don't know. I need to.

Another thing, i feel like i am crumbling. I don't know why, but i feel it in my spirit. To fall apart anytime soon.

Thursday, December 11, 2008


I just got home from malacca with some of my friends. Really strange how people meet and bond.

The hotel we stayed at was actually where i first truly had a meeting with God. A place where 2004, i met God face to face, and broke down. Gifts of tongues, prophecy, and an experience of God were the things i took away.

I walked around the place, remembering the rooms, the layout at least. The views. The food. But in all that, i realised something.

There are places in your life that we can never return in hopes of resurrecting memories. That which are memories sometimes stay only as memories, and no revisiting of the place can recreate the feelings or thoughts.

Hotel Equatorial will always be the place where i first remembered meeting God. It holds a place in my heart. Malacca was where i went with my church, and came back with my family. It was where i had the worst time of my church life, and the best time with God. It was where, when the church failed to reach out to me, that God could show me that He cares.

Yet when i revisit the place, it is new again. It awaits for me to make new joyful memories. Make new experiences. Visit and do new things again. It is not waiting for me to return to recreate the old scenes of meeting God, it is waiting for me to return to meet God again.

I am now home, realising how much i enjoy being around people. I may not be a great friend to be with, but i enjoyed their company and they are a great bunch to hang out with. Sometimes, the best part of friends, is the silence. We need not be talking, but we can be communicating.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Todd just lost his job. Now he has to find his life.

The show "outsourced" is an incredible show. It shows the journey of a man, called Tod, who finds himself sent to India because his company has decided to outsource the entire department (call centre, Order Fulfillment) to India.

The movie depicts how he gets around in India, how he hates it, then grows to love it.

I think the movie chronicles a great way to live life. Tod went to India resenting the way of life. He resents being sent to India. He hates it.

In the same way, when change happens to us, we find that sometimes, we hate it. We find it difficult to accept the new changes. We are forced into positions we cannot accept, yet have to make do.

Tod later learns to love India. In a especially poignant scene, Tod enters the river to clean up. You see him apprehensive at first, then he goes deep in, literally like a baptism, then he starts swimming and enjoying the river.

That is like life. Once we are able to embrace change, find the beauty and the life within the change, life goes on. That is what is meant by God giving us life to enjoy things. Life was meant for us to enjoy circumstances. Embrace the events that are in our life. Not all are good, even after the embrace, Tod still had some difficulty. But he learnt to take the good with the bad, the chili with the rice. Embracing life is about the good and the bad put together to make a decent experience.

Then Tod goes back to his office. He admits he was wrong in trying to run the office like an American office. He needed to make the place functional, not shoehorned into a model that did not apply.

That is like life. So many times, I find myself struggling because I am trying to reshape the circumstances to fit a model in my mind, or to make something work in the manner I know how. I fail to see that I should instead try to make the circumstances work best in the way it is meant to be.

This point applies to ministry. How many of us try to make our juniors like us? How many of us wants our youth to be like us, the good side at least. But the truth is, they will never be. They are not meant to be like us. They are meant to be them. They are meant to be the best that God made them to be. They are meant to reflect a different aspect of God from us. They reflect God, not us.

Parents want their children to be living images of themselves. That will never happen because it is not meant to be. Children should be stretched to allow them to reach their maximum potential.

And finally, the last scene. Tod succeeds in bringing down the time taken for each call to be concluded to 5 minutes, one minute below the target. His boss comes in to tell him that they are shutting down the business and moving to china. Tod is asked to go to china. He refuses, and sends his no. 2 man, while he returns to the states unemployed. Along the way, he loses the girl he loves (one of the staff there) and he returns to the states. Yet, he returns to a life. He embraces the change. He realises, he is in control of his choices.

That is life. Not everything ends well. Life does take a turn for the bad. You lose the one you love, you lose your job. Yet life does not end. Life goes on, and change has to be embraced. We choose how we would like to respond to the change. Life goes on.

That show teaches about life. It shows us that change happens, circumstances are NEVER in our control. Only our choices in how we respond to the circumstances.

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

$2 COE

I love that. Too bad i not buying cars.

But what i so love is how people fail to understand what exactly COE is. Read the forums and you will be so amused.

Firstly, the COE does not affect the value of your car. COE is a RIGHT to drive that particular car. A low COE will not mean lower future value. On the contrary, when your car is placed alongside other similar models, it is at an advantage because your cost of purchasing the car is low. Hence, low COE is always good.

Secondly, the car market is a strange place. How dealers work is that they will refund you the difference between the COE and the rebate level. When you look for cars, there will be a rebate level. That is the COE price they expect to pay. If the COE fell below that price, they will refund the difference. If it is above, the dealer will make good the difference, though exactly how much is not clear.

FInally, the government is not able to control the prices of COE. COE is merely the right to drive on the road. Demand and supply of such rights will determine the true value of the COE. Yes, the government can reduce the supply, but this is on hindsight. If they restrict the COE by too much, there will complaints that the COE is too costly.

At the end of the day, COE is about purchase of rights to drive on the road. It makes no sense to blame anyone except the free market about the prices, because the market will ascertain the optimal for that period, dependent on demand and supply.

Monday, November 17, 2008


First bees. Wasps to be exact. Meet this buzz.

This 'harmless' wasp was cold at around 4 am. So it decided to come into my room. Under my blanket. Where i was zzz. I moved. He stung me. I woke up, moved again, felt another painful sting on my leg. I moved one last time, and had a front row seat of this fly stinging me on my left thigh for the third time. OUCH!.

I spent the rest of the day in some pain. Oh boy it hurts, I can tell you. But thankfully it was not fatal though... Haiz.

Okie just thought it would be interesting...