Mountains

Today's sermon was on mountains. To climb Mountains. To find your own mountain, and to conquer it.

I think that is vital. We each need to find that arena in life, in the world, where we fight to conquer it for God. We need to find the place where we can roar for God. Where we are the ones who will bring that mountain under God's rule. We are called the children of God, to be saviors in the world. We need to rise up.

I wish I could I say with courage that I love God and have love FOR God. I wish I could say that my walk with God is great, that everyday i grow to be more like Him. I wish i could say that i am a follower of Jesus, prepared to die for Him, to surrender everything for Him.

I cannot. I cannot even say that I have anymore love for God. I still love God, just no longer have the passion for Him anymore. Somewhere, the weeds of the world have choked my desires for God.

I want to have the same faith I had for God when I was in NUS. When I was on fire for God. I want that same passion to seek and to desire for God. Not just an act of loving God, but to want to love God, that is a desire that comes from knowing God.

I have lost. And I want to come home. Just pray for me.

I keep coming home; only to find that I want out.


On an emotional side, I am feeling lonely. Think I have been single for too long. Haha. But there is just the problem that I feel, that I am not ready yet. Not fully. There is a thorn I need to get rid of.