Shhh. I know.

Last night i had a bad conversation with God.

I argued with him. Over a minor thing. I felt burdened by all the work i had to do, the different roles i had to play. I was tired.

But this morning, as i woke, i felt a need to repent, all God said was, shhh. I know.

Shhh. I know. Simple. More powerful then anything else in the world.

It breaks my heart. All i said last night, was that my work was more important to me then his, and i needed it done. But God said, shhh. I know.

This morning i did not feel able nor the right person to lead prayer. I did not feel that i could lead nor was i fit to lead. I am a sinner, a failure. I cannot.

Then God said " Child, the show must go on".

The show must go on no matter how i feel. I have to gird myself, bear the cross. I threw it down last night, i rejected his duty, i bore my own cross. And in all that, God's grace covered me and made me realise that i have to.

Once again, i throw down the my pursuits, and pursue the cross of God. Once again i come home to the father's house. Once again.

And through it all, God says "Shhh. i know."