I AM
I somehow lost the firery passion.
Dun get me wrong, I love God. Period. No doubts there. Just that I do not have that lifely passion people exude. At least i think i do not. i don't know.
Where am i now? At a very strange cross roads. My path before i can boldly claim, God has been with me. I walked with God. I may not have been totally faithful, but i know, i have obeyed much.
Now, the paths ahead are arrayed in two ways. One tells me enough. I want to experience life. I want to live life. I want to do strange things, try stuff. Wakeboarding, go back to sailing. Run and not stop. Run.
Nothing wrong about that. life is meant for us to live to the max. To the christians who live in church, God called you to GO OUT. Life is for us to experience it. Go crazy, speed a bit, drive manically, race. Splurge. Lose what the world calls rationality. be irrational according to the world. Love God totally. (to be honest, there is no such thing as a rational christian. The only rational choice christians can make is to choose God. other actions that are rational are generally wrong actions, whether in deed or in thought).
The other path says choose God. Choose Me, says God. Choose Me. Love Me even when you feel down. When the darkness is around you, choose Me. When you seem wrong, go back to the secret place, and know that I AM for you. I the Lord your God AM for you. I AM searching for a man who is absolutely for Me. Who is on fire for Me not by attitude, but actions. I AM.
It hurts. i know i should depend on God. But honestly, i am drained. I have given so much up for ministering. My life i poured out to minister, and now I stand before you. I am empty. I am drained. On my own strength, there is nothing I can do.
I know i have gifts. To hear God speaking clearly. Gift of affirmation. Gift of prophecy (not the predicting type but for encouragement). But these do not make me. THESE DO NOT MAKE ME ANYTHING. My talents do NOT define me. My choices do. And i choose God. I choose my God because i dunno what else can i do.
But my God is I AM. My God is BIG. MY GOD IS ALL. He is for me. HE IS FOR ME. In joy, in routine, in life, in sorrow, in pain, in darkness. MY GOD IS GOD.
Pray with me. That i pray with Jesus. That i know my God. I know him, not as a character in the bible. But in my life. IN MY LIFE. GOD is there.
Dun get me wrong, I love God. Period. No doubts there. Just that I do not have that lifely passion people exude. At least i think i do not. i don't know.
Where am i now? At a very strange cross roads. My path before i can boldly claim, God has been with me. I walked with God. I may not have been totally faithful, but i know, i have obeyed much.
Now, the paths ahead are arrayed in two ways. One tells me enough. I want to experience life. I want to live life. I want to do strange things, try stuff. Wakeboarding, go back to sailing. Run and not stop. Run.
Nothing wrong about that. life is meant for us to live to the max. To the christians who live in church, God called you to GO OUT. Life is for us to experience it. Go crazy, speed a bit, drive manically, race. Splurge. Lose what the world calls rationality. be irrational according to the world. Love God totally. (to be honest, there is no such thing as a rational christian. The only rational choice christians can make is to choose God. other actions that are rational are generally wrong actions, whether in deed or in thought).
The other path says choose God. Choose Me, says God. Choose Me. Love Me even when you feel down. When the darkness is around you, choose Me. When you seem wrong, go back to the secret place, and know that I AM for you. I the Lord your God AM for you. I AM searching for a man who is absolutely for Me. Who is on fire for Me not by attitude, but actions. I AM.
It hurts. i know i should depend on God. But honestly, i am drained. I have given so much up for ministering. My life i poured out to minister, and now I stand before you. I am empty. I am drained. On my own strength, there is nothing I can do.
I know i have gifts. To hear God speaking clearly. Gift of affirmation. Gift of prophecy (not the predicting type but for encouragement). But these do not make me. THESE DO NOT MAKE ME ANYTHING. My talents do NOT define me. My choices do. And i choose God. I choose my God because i dunno what else can i do.
But my God is I AM. My God is BIG. MY GOD IS ALL. He is for me. HE IS FOR ME. In joy, in routine, in life, in sorrow, in pain, in darkness. MY GOD IS GOD.
Pray with me. That i pray with Jesus. That i know my God. I know him, not as a character in the bible. But in my life. IN MY LIFE. GOD is there.
posted by W | Sunday, October 08, 2006
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