I choose

So many things have been happening, one of which is NUS exams.

At level four, the idea is not to finish the paper, or even to know what to do, but simply do and hope for the best. papers are not designed to be finished, or even to be done...

I wish i could say that my faith in God has risen. i wish i could say that my faith is unshakable. That i can boldly go to church, continue to serve God, continue to go prayer meetings. I wish i had faith of a mustard seed.

I do not. I have lost some faith in God.

Don't get me wrong. I love God. I still talk and hear him. Certain events have put me in question of God's plan for me, of whether i am with his plan, whether his plans are really to prosper and not to harm me. And i just feel like i am outside of his plans.

I know elijah was called to desert to be with God. Just that now, i feel very very lost, uncertain. And needing some guidance.

My friend said that spiritual leadership is sometimes a lonely process. I think that is true, but i guess the next question is if i am cut out. I dunno, just think people doubt i can lead them spiritually, and sometimes that really affects me.

Lord lord, take this cup away from me, but not my will, but yours be done