Winning

What does it profit a man, if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?

In a way, i believe this sums up something i been struggling with. I want to win. Nobody I know likes to lose. Nobody i know hates to win. So I want to win. But to what end?

Do I need to win every argument that comes my way? Certainly not. For even if i won the argument, I could have lost my friends. I would have lost everything that was important and got back nothing worth mentioning.

The bible translates soul as best as it can, but the greek word used here psychē, meaning the essence of life, or the essence of being, the essence of who we are. What is the purpose of winning if in the end, we lose ourselves?

I do not want to stop winning; there are times i need to fight for what i believe to be true and what i hold to be real. But if they are insignificant, then i believe i need to learn to let it go. Why fight what is irrelevant? Hold on to the truth. I do not need to win arguments, i just need to win people's trust.

Will you?

God challenged me.

Will I follow him fully.

And the sad truth is, no. I cannot. So many areas in my life i want to surrender, and i don't know how. I don't know how to give it up to Him. I want to want to know Him.

Christians say qt is important. How do they do it regularly? I don't. I don't know how. I really don't.

God i don't want to love you. I just want to want to love you.

You are your worst critic

My friend reminded me that very statement last night.

You are your worse critic. I am thankfully fairly self aware; it simply means i am aware of who i am. The problem is, i have come to see the flaws in myself, the demons within, and i fail to see God's hand in me.

We are all born in the image of God. That means in everyone, there is that inherent goodness. I have always wanted to find that Godness in everyone, that i may say that is the characteristic that God put in that person that He is like. In a way, God is in everyone (but you cannot be God, only be like His son).

I realise also God put me in CJC also for another purpose. Workplace ministry was the word He gave me. The word means that my ministry is at my place of work. To my friends (who are colleagues but i prefer to call them friends) from CJC, i hope that in the ways that i have failed to be a friend to you, you will forgive (and tell me so i learn). In the ways that i can, i will try my best to bless you.

To my other friends, i will do what i can to see the best in thee. Otherwise, keep reminding me when i have failed. (be nice also to remind me when i have done well=p)

Cheers
And to YOU naggy friend with a brain of 60, thanks... I am STILL a civilised human being.

The cost of choice

Economics students will know this. What is the real cost of choice?

I read this off a blog. I know once i write this, several people will immediately realise something.

"There will always be 2 choices in every teacher's life: To do what is necessary to help the student to achieve their dreams; or to simply let them be where they are. Both have different price tags. The 1st is a big prize, so is the price to pay. "

Every teacher can choose to push their student to find a dream and fight for the dream. Or they can sit back and watch their little ducklings fumble. Every teacher can choose to cheer the students from afar, or stand beside them guiding, encouraging, cheering. Every teacher can choose to teach, or choose to be a teacher. To teach is the career. To be a teacher is a destiny.

Every choice has a cost. You opt to give up your next best alternative. To be a teacher, one will lose a lot of hours preparing, praying and believing even when hope seems fruitless. To teach, one will lose the opportunity to bless and enrich another person's life. One will choose to surrender the opportunity to leave behind an impact in a person's life.

I do not just restrict this to those who fill in forms that ask occupations as "Teacher". We are all teachers. Every one of us who comes into contact with another living person is a teacher in some form.

Choose for yourselves this day, your decision.

A story

A man was asked, "Sir, of your two daughters, which do you love more?"

He replied, "Neither. I love both equally." Later, he added, "However, if you asked my children, my younger daughter would think that i love my elder daughter more. "

His friend asked, "Why do you think it is so?"

And the man replied, "Because the elder daughter talks to me more."

It strikes me as a short but powerful story. Because the elder daughter talks to me more. How many of us thinks God practices favouritism, or that God loves other people but not you. How may of us look at our lives and think that God or in fact, any one does not love you.

The truth is measured simply by looking at the time you spend with that person. With regards to God, how often do you talk to God and more importantly, how often do you hear God? God speaks. He still does. He will speak if you will listen. I could blog on how to hear God, but for that, it is better if you asked me personally to share my own walk.

Your friends speak. How often do you hear their hearts. Do you know how to?

Your heart speaks. Are you your own friend? Do you hear your own heart? Many people i know, do not listen to their own hearts. Listen. Spend time with yourself. Spend time with your friends. Spend time with God.

I am

I am.

There is nothing worse, then friends seeing who you are.

I am transparent. People say i am transparent. I do not try to hide. Wysiwyg. What you see is what you get. There is no other side of me. That is bare for all to see.

I have a horrid temper, and i lose it ever so often. I blow up at people. Only by grace of God do they stand by me. I don't know why.

I am passionate. I give my life for anything i believe to be true. I believe God speaks. I believe God is real. I believes He saves us. I believe there is an absolute truth. I believe to live life without passion is to live no life at all.

I am serious. I take things and i consider them. People think i act too fast. I do not. I process things faster than most because i have been doing that for a long time. I am serious. I consider much about alot, i just do not bother bringing it up.

I am weary. I am not walking right with God, and i need to. I need to draw on Him.

I am lonely. I need a friend who will listen and not chide, hear and not advise. Sit and not speak. Be present.

I am real. I hate people who use God speak unless we are debating theology.

I am afraid. I mess up as a teacher no more or less than others. My students pay for my mistakes. It is not fair, but that is who I am.

You might think me blasphemous to use God's name in this blog. Perhaps you are right. But I am made in the image of God. And some characteristics of God i know i have. Because we each have some characteristic of God.

I am this. I am more. I am nothing.