Wonder
Yesterday i went for lunch with a few of my econs classmates. Now because NUS lacks food places, we decided to drive out for lunch. On the way back to my car, the two girls in our party were walking infront of us guys. They stopped at a black car and waited there. It confused me because the car they stopped at was :
BMW 5 Series
Honda City
We had a good laugh because they really almost opened the door of the car. Not that i would mind, considering mine is 58 k whilst a BMW costs 200k. Bit more ex. Though it is the same thing, four door, four wheels, one steering wheel, one engine.
Anyway yeah exams are coming. Rushing for work, yet no mood to study. Just wanna slack. Had the strangest dream last night. Woke up feeling sad. Empty. Drained. Realsing that God is asking me to really put him at the centre of my life, but it is hard. Cos there is just so much fear in me that people dun realise. The fear of not being able to find a job, find a life, a career, a family. I put up a face to be strong, but inside i am wondering how shaky my faith is.
I believe God is drawing me to a place where my faith will be shaken. A place where really i have nothing but God's voice to go on.
It is scary, but yeah it is a choice. A leap of faith. Wondering how.
BMW 5 Series
whilst my car is
Honda City
We had a good laugh because they really almost opened the door of the car. Not that i would mind, considering mine is 58 k whilst a BMW costs 200k. Bit more ex. Though it is the same thing, four door, four wheels, one steering wheel, one engine.
Anyway yeah exams are coming. Rushing for work, yet no mood to study. Just wanna slack. Had the strangest dream last night. Woke up feeling sad. Empty. Drained. Realsing that God is asking me to really put him at the centre of my life, but it is hard. Cos there is just so much fear in me that people dun realise. The fear of not being able to find a job, find a life, a career, a family. I put up a face to be strong, but inside i am wondering how shaky my faith is.
I believe God is drawing me to a place where my faith will be shaken. A place where really i have nothing but God's voice to go on.
It is scary, but yeah it is a choice. A leap of faith. Wondering how.
Labels: life
posted by W | Friday, April 13, 2007
1 Comments:
It is when our faith is crumbled, that we'd come before Him in real humility and realised how much we truly need God...just like Peter,I suppose.
Isa 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Fear comes from not knowing what will come next. But when our future is uncertain, be reminded of what Psalm 139: 15-16 says "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." God knows your future.
Friend, I understand. I was like that too... three years ago. Uncertain, fearful, directionless, wondering about the meaning of my life, fumbling about for 2 years... share it with you another time ba.
God understands.
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