The chink in my armour

The armour of God is to be worn, to defend, to fight. Right now there is a chink in my walk with God.

I have come to realise that whilst God is in my heart, I have not really enthroned him. Or actually, I have put him in my advisory position. To make things clearer, in the journey of life, God is my navigator, whilst I am still in the driver seat. Sure, I ask God what to do next, I ask him where should I go, whether I should take the path, but by and large, I am still the driver.

In so many places in my life, I have been the driver, I have been the leader of my own life. I told people I prayed, when the truth was I prayed God, let things be my way. The truth is I am still carrying the stench of un-crucified flesh, still having the old ways in me, when the new way cannot grow. I have been the expert in pretending to be the new, without letting the old die. The old has to die, my wine skins have to be emptied, I have to be renewed, tipped over. The old wine in me has to be cleaned out.

But this is amazing, today as a speaker shared in church, be ready to be tipped over, was in line with what God told me in the morning. That right now, I have yet to put God in the driver seat. He is in so many ways the front passenger, true a front passenger but in many ways the passenger. God wants me to go all the way, and let him take over. Let him be the driver.

Gal 5:16 says, Walk in the Spirit and you SHALL NOT fulfil the lusts of the flesh. I pondered on what that mean, until literally God told me to die to self, the old self, that you may have a new creation to walk in the spirit. The old self cannot walk in the spirit, because the old self was flesh, and flesh and spirit fight.

But what then is dying to self? Dying to self is not a one time thing. It is a daily affair, as Paul says so succinctly, I die daily. I die DAILY. It is a daily thing. I asked God, ok so I have to die daily, how exactly.

God said this, Feed the spirit you want to live. The old me is still very strong, but stop feeding it, and it WILL DIE. IT cannot help but die. The spirit will die, whether old or new, if it is not fed. A new spirit needs food of the word of God, the exercise of mercy through prayer, the fellowship of God through QT. The disciplines of loving God is not to earn salvation; it is to earn what is rightfully yours, a new creation. A new spirit.

I have gone for 3 interviews. Unfortunately, the places that i want do not call me back, though they have called my friends. Kinda feel pretty lousy.

Anyway the results of the 3 interviews are pretty interesting.
1. I want the job, the job dun want me (i.e. they did not know i was a fresh Graduate. SMU, never read resume)
2. I don't want the job, the job wanted me.
3. I don't want the job, the job don't want me either.

Essentially i have covered all options avaliable for me Praying for the fourth one. i.e. I want the job and the job wants me.

But above all that. ABOVE ALL THIS. My God is bigger than that. My God is all i need, want, and desire.

If i have been faithful, God will show Himself MORE THAN faithful

Love your neighbour

Matt 22:39 A second is equally important: `Love your neighbor as yourself.' (NLT)
Matt 22:39 The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' (NASB)

This verse is what Jesus said in response to the question of which is the greatest commandment of the law. The first was to love God with everything that you have, are, and do. The second is EQUALLY important, to love your neighbour as yourself.

I was praying and asking God, should i love my neighbour and accept their sins, their flaws. The whole concept of people accepting flaws is something i have always championed. We are all flawed, imperfect, and essentially, if you love someone you should accept their flaws. Someone told me that i was not like that, i spent a lot of time trying to change that person. I believed that yeah, i should be more accepting. I should accept the character.

Then i realised that God DOES NOT ACCEPT FLAWS. Mind you, He forgives sin but He does NOT accept it. Big difference. Forgiveness means that you are forgiven, that He loves you BUT NOT THE SIN/FLAW/FAILURE. Heb 10:26 tells us that "(F)or if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins," God forgives the sin but hey, it's gotta go.

Love your neighbour as you love yourself. I been fighting sin all the time, encouraged to press on to be more like God. Why should i not extend that same level of grace to others? I am called to love others the way i love myself, if i love myself enough to want to spur others to be more like God, then i too should spur others to be like God.

God does not want us to remain as fallen people. Yes we have and will sin. We are fallen. But we have a saviour who rose up and cleanse and sanctified us, that we may rise up. Bible tells us we are in a war. We are fighting. Fighting to rise UP. Fighting against the spirit of the world. Fighting to be MAN and WOMAN of GOD, Filled with the SPIRIT of GOD, not of the world.

EPH 6 tells us of the armour of God. Why would you need the armour except if you are ready for a battle? You are called to PUT on that armour, to fight.

Fight therefore to be like God. Fight therefore against the spirit that says if you love someone you have to accept their faults. YOU CANNOT. Bible does NOT accept faults. We are made in the image of God, to one day return blameless and without spot. God FORGIVES faults, not accepts it. Fight that you might rise above the tide.

This applies not just to spurring on towards God, but when you are down, Fight the downess. You are VICTORIOUS in Christ, WHERE IS THAT VICTORY? If your friends are not walking right with God, even the littlest bit, FIGHT that spirit of the world.

Harry Potter

I watched Harry Potter today.

The book's much better, but i really liked the action part, i.e. the magic being shot at each other. Though unfortunately, Harry Potter is actually unable to perform spells without not shouting, i.e. nonverbal spells. So technically everytime he casts a spell, he has to speak. Not just point. And Cho Chang is chio. So is hermonie. Btw, did you guy realise that Ginnie was pretty upset when Harry stayed back to talk to Cho at the end of one of the training sessions (before he kissed Cho)

Anyway the point of this blog, is actually not about the show. It was about the people me. They were making so much noise, literally having a conversation about the popcorn, i was so mad, i turned around and said politely "Would you please keep quiet back there" (though my movie kaki said i sounded harsh)

And the girls beside me were stunned, the students i scolded cowed into silence, people behind them shocked (i must have spoken pretty loudly), and yeah. Din know i could be that peeved.

The rest of the movie became pretty enjoyable.

Okie that was that. Cheers

Laughter

My friend blogged this:

(From transformers)... "(B)ut the most duh statement in the movie belongs to Megatron. After breaking out of the ice he was frozen in since 1935, the first words were actually “I’m Meeeegaaaatrroon!”

Like -_-

I mean, if I’m frozen in ice for 72 years, my first words definitely won’t be “I’m ***** *******!”"

Actually dear friend, i think you WILL actually say that. Somehow, i can imagine you saying that. Which is really funny. For those who know who the person is, i think you can guess why i say it's funny

Wanted to go wash car and run, but it rained, and is still raining. SO see how.

Living In, Out, For

A while ago i wrote about Living FOR God.

Today as i was waiting for a bus to go somewhere, God spoke of two other things. Living In and Living Out the truth.

Living In the truth literally means to inhabit the truth. Make the truth your home. Literally, dwell in the Word of God.

Living Out simply means using the truth, as the measure for Life. Nothing more. Living a life that exhibits God's truth. A walking evidence of truth.

Living For means willingness to fight for the truth. Ain't easy.

I wrote this simply because i been praying about life, and i realise that so much of my life is still not right with God. Not praying enough, not deciding everything with God, just moving around. Nomadic even. Slowly. I want to Live In and Live Out the truth.

Bless you

Liz. says: (11:09:14 PM)
is your nick supposed to be cryptic?

William] You never saw a fish on the wall with its mouth shut. says: (11:09:21 PM)
haha yes

liz. says: (11:09:21 PM)
or just talking about struggling to breathe?

William] You never saw a fish on the wall with its mouth shut. says: (11:09:24 PM)
is a hint for people who talk to much to keep quiet. Especially me. i talk too much

liz. says: (11:09:37 PM)
eh? your hint not very good leh

liz. says: (11:10:02 PM)
a fish out of water (i.e. on the wall) will keep opening his mouth to try and breathe right

liz. says: (11:10:10 PM)
oh wait, fish dont breathe through their mouths.

liz. says: (11:10:11 PM)
CHEY

For information: My nick was: You never saw a fish on the wall with its mouth shut
The meaning, the fish only got caught because it's mouth opened for the bait.

Lesson: Keep your mouth shut if you dun know anything about it.

Identity test

You are an Inventor

Your imagination, self-reliance, openness to new things, and appreciation for utility combine to make you an INVENTOR.

You have the confidence to make your visions into reality, and you are willing to consider many alternatives to get that done.

The full spectrum of possibilities in the world intrigues you—you're not limited by pre-conceived notions of how things should be.

Problem-solving is a specialty of yours, owing to your persistence, curiosity, and understanding of how things work.

Your vision allows you to identify what's missing from a given situation, and your creativity allows you to fill in the gaps.

Your awareness of how things function gives you the ability to come up with new uses for common objects.

It is more interesting for you to pursue excitement than it is to get caught up in a routine.

Although understanding details is not difficult for you, you specialize in seeing the bigger picture and don't get caught up in specifics.

You tend to more proactive than reactive—you don't just wait for things to come to you.

You're well-attuned to your emotional state, and not afraid to use your feelings to guide you. You tend to be cooperative, rarely contradicting others, and always considerate of their feelings.

Never one to be found in chic boutiques or trendy clothing stores, you take an extremely practical approach to getting dressed.

If you want to be different:

Try applying your creativity to more artistic arenas, and letting your imagination take less practical forms.

how you relate to others

You are Benevolent

You are a great person to interact with—understanding, giving, and trusting—in a word, BENEVOLENT

You don't mind being in social situations, as you feel comfortable enough with people to be yourself.

Your caring nature goes beyond a basic concern: you take the time to understand the nuances of people's situations before passing any sort of judgment.

You're a good listener, and even better at offering advice.

You're concerned with others at both an individual and societal level—you sympathize with the plights of troubled groups, and you can care about people you've never met.

Considering many different perspectives is something at which you excel, and you appreciate that quality in others.

Other people's feelings are important to you, and you're good at mediating disputes.

Because of your understanding and patience, you tend to bring out the best in people.

If you want to be different:

You spend a lot of time taking care of others, but don't forget to take care of yourself!

Sometimes you can get overcommitted, and when you sacrifice spending time with those close to you, it can make them feel unimportant.

A few things

Repentance

What does that mean? The bible tells us that if we are repentant, salvation will be for us.

But what exactly is repentant?
Eph 2:16 And that he might reconcile both (Jews and Gentiles) unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby:

Acts 3:19 Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;

Rev 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Jesus's death's purpose was to reconcile Man to God. What then is repentance? More than just guilt and hatred of the old. But it is that and the desire to be reconciled to God. To be back on track with a good relationship with God. In essence. Repentance is merely the act of

1. Admitting sin
2. Asking for Forgiveness.
3. Live a life that builds a new relationship with God.

If you are living in habitual sin, i challenge you, is number 3 what you are doing?

To be honest, there are many sins i commit. But i ask myself, why do i find myself on my knees so often to say "God I am sorry" when i should find myself on my knees daily saying "God i want to know you more"

Repentance without the third part, is merely admission of guilt. Many of us stay at this level, and it is this that the devil catches us. A truly repentant man is one who builds in love of God.

How then do we go about the discipline of loving God?
1. QT.
2. Mediate on the Word of God
3. Be saturated with the Word of God.
4. Be sensitive to the moving of the Holy Spirit.

Lets get serious now. Life is too short to spend on saying I am sorry. Life means we need to say i am sorry, God i want to love you more.

Love God more.

Barriers to God

In a sermon once, i heard this preached.

"The biggest barrier to reaching out to people, are the christians".

I think i can safely extend it. Even now, the biggest barrier in my walk with God, is ironically, other christians.

Been struggling with life, practical issues. The biggest being jobless and equally big is being single. Right now i do not need advice, but well, people are ALL so willing to dispense bible verses and information and trivia. When all i need, want and pray for, is just someone to sit beside me and say, yo bro, lets just walk together. No suggestions, no preachng, no truths, just walk with you. Just feel your pain and carry your burden.

Is it so hard to do that? Youth Connection, is it that hard to be able to come up to your friends and NOT preach, but just love? Just sit beside them when they are down and just say, hey bro, I'm here.

The strongest friendships i think are built not on the advice, but the presence of friends. We just want people to care, not what they know, but what they care. Personally, too many people i know, my church friends, just don't do that.

But anyway on a side note, i read something that really hit me today. About working OUT your salvation (and not working FOR). I realise that God really wants me to be who He made me to be, the person He designed me to be, one that is really a work of art. And this season of learning who i was meant to be is something special.

I don't know where God wants me to be , but i know that God is faithful. I just wish i could say it with conviction.

I have faults but am not faulty

As i QT this morning, been gripped with a sense of fear.

I am useless. People are better than me. Etc etc etc.

Let me say that that fear is real and definitely a spiritual attack. At the same time, the lies of the devil are always rooted in half truths. Half truths are far more damaging that lies.

But to uncover the lie means i need to face the lies face on. I need to admit that yes i have faults. I cannot do a lot of things. I cannot play any musical instrument well. Just don't have the music finger. I cannot study very well. I am not tactful. Yes i do have faults.

But at the other hand, i am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. There are facets of God that i reflect very well. I am passionate. I am interested in people's lives. I can relate to God easily, spiritually aware of God most of the time.

The only way to dispel a lie is with the truth. The only way to dispel a half lie is to present the entire truth. Have you lived with any half lies?

One liners berthed here

1. Give God what's right, not what's left.

2. Man's way leads to hopeless end; God's way leads to an endless hope .

3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.

6. Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.

7. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.

8. When praying, don't give God instructions- just report for duty.

9. Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.

10. We don't change God's message- His message changes us.

11. The church is prayer-conditioned.

12 When God ordains, He sustains.

13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

14. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.

16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.

17. Exercise daily ... Walk with the Lord.

18. Never give the devil a ride- he will always want to drive.

19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

21. He who angers you controls you.

22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

23. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.

24. Be ye fishers of men. You catch them & He'll clean them.

25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Graduation

Sat, 07/07/07


"Mr Presiding Officer: We would (something about scrolls and presenting the scrolls)"

I now have a certificate that says

This is to certify that

Seah Kah Yi

Having fulfilled the requirements prescribed by the university was conferred the degree of

BACHELOR OF SOCIAL SCIENCES
SECOND CLASS HONOURS (LOWER)
IN ECONOMICS

on

30 June 2007

Yup yup, the most expensive certificate i have to date. And you'd think they will laminate it for you.. But oh well.

That phase of my life is over. I have finished. I think i can say that i have run the good race, fought the good fight. NUS will always hold a special place in my heart. Where i was urged on to greater heights with God, and where i was able to urge others to know God more.

To my honours cohort, you guys rock. Thanks so much for everything. Basant, Aggey are now stories for future. Econometrics, Macroeconomics, Microeconomics are horrors for future students. To C, Amy, Nerine, Eileen, Ng Wei, Kian Chong, Malcolm. Without you honours year will be impossible. With you guys, honours year is and will always be my favourite year.

To my other non econs friends who are graduating, e.g. Ivan, Rachel, Evan, Chris, Huishan, Meisi, Adeline, (and so so many more) all the best in life. Remember your friends.You guys helped me so so much.

To my other non graduating friends, Weiying, Winnie, Liz, Shaun, Pearlyn, Dean, Huimin, (and too many more, i love you guys, dun think that just cos your name not here i dun love you) etc etc, your turn will come. Thanks so much for being there for me. Inasmuch as the graduating CFers have poured out for you, pour out for the next generation.

To my parents, thanks for being patient, and yeah, the only gift i hope i can give you for now (cos unemployed) is that of seeing me in a gown. 25 years of life. And all we have to show for is a certificate.

To everyone in church i love you very much. Without you guys, life will be without God. You guys showed me that God is real and present.

Well, life goes on. Tetelestai.

Living, Dying

You may be prepared to die for truth, but are you prepared to LIVE for it?

For me to LIVE is CHRIST, to DIE is GAIN. -Phi 1:21

So far, whenever this verse i have heard is used to say that christians have something to look forward to, namely eternal life in Christ. And i totally believe that.

Now I challenge every Christian. To those who are living a life redeemed by Christ, I ask if you are willing to LIVE for the truth.

Living for the truth is very different from knowing, believing and trusting the truth. Living for the truth means you have to fight for it, have to go against the societal rules for it. Living for the truth means you WILL conflict with others, you WILL suffer persecutions. You WILL find that the world does not accept that.

Truth by nature is exclusive. People who try to say that Christianity is the same as buddhism, or every religion is the same, let me correct you. No TWO religions are the same, just as no two days are the same. Religions may have one God (Judaism, Christianity, Catholicism, Muslim), Many Gods (Hinduism) No Gods (Buddhism- to my knowledge, Buddhism is a religion. I know my friends state that it is a philosophy, unfortunately, we do not remember Socrates, Descartes nor Plato in the same way as we do Buddha. Furthermore, According to Ven. Dr. K. Sri Dhammananda, Every man Must have a religion)

Truth by nature is exclusive. If Jesus says He IS THE WAY and it is truth, then there is no other way. Does not matter how much good you do, which God you believe in, then he is the ONLY way. If Buddha is right and the only way to Nirvana is through the eight fold path, then well, christians will be on earth a very long time, but then so will the muslims and the hindus. If the Muslims Claim that they are the way, then every other religion, faith system, believe methodology is wrong. Truth is exclusive.

Don't get me wrong, I know many Muslims from whom i could learn a lot about life from. Same to buddhist and there are christians who are fallen. Men do not make up the religion, though they certainly represent it. We cannot allow experiences or encounters with people of a certain faith to cloud our judgement. Islam is so much more than Jihad, and to be honest, Muslims tend to have (in my opinion) the strongest family bonds in Singapore. I am sure that there is some causality in that.

But that is a digression that went too far. The point of this post is simple. If i am a christian, and I am, and if i believe God is the Way the Truth, the Life, do i dare to live for it? To be honest, asking me to die for the gospel, grotesque and painful as it may sound, i think i will be able to do it. Asking me to suffer for the gospel, now that is a different story.

Christianity is about blessing yes (For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope - Jer29:11) but which of Jesus's friends, the Disciples, ever enjoyed life? Peter, the stone on which the catholic church is built on was crucified upside down. John, the disciple Jesus loved was exiled. Paul writes of stonning, prisonment etc etc, exactly what future and hope? But the one thing Jesus promises is Persecutions will come. We will be rejected. We will suffer.

Now i ask myself, am i willing to suffer for the gospel? Am i willing to live a life of WILD ABANDON to God??